Have spent the last few weeks stuck in room revising using Mums strict 'no food or contact with outside world until you have read and analysed Paradise Lost to the point where you can recite it of by heart' method. Then when not imprisoned have been doing actual exams.

 Am exhausted, but I have PASSED my driving test. The Gods were merciful and somehow I managed only four minors and no unscheduled emergency stops! Mum nearly fainted when I told her, then I thought she was going to hug me, but she hugged Mike Wandering Hands instead. James said that could be seen as a lucky escape as opposed to my view of 'least loved child who is to be ignored even when she achieves something massive'. Asked if I could have a car now (retro VW Beetle in mind) but Mum said I could drive her fiesta, however only with her present. Declined offer, will walk, but as a qualified driver. Much cooler then being shouted at by a manic women wearing driving gloves (even when not driving!?) for not releasing the handbrake whilst checking my blind spot! 

Drama was harder than expected. Being a tree was easy, remembering my Frankenstein monologue was not. Especially with Sad Ed preferring to play 'the creature' in tradition zombie like manner, before he had to pretend to kill me. Mr Vaughn exited the room at that point with his head in his hands and furiously chewing his nicotine gum; am hopeful!

In other news (if you can call it that?) have spotted gorgeous boy hanging around the Waitrose car park, Sad Ed was scared he was waiting to take over his and Ruben's trolley herding jobs, then he crashed 14 trolleys into a fiesta. Shame it was not Mike Wandering Hands Majors one as then would not have to take test. Anyway have told Scarlet about him in hope that she will track him down and match make me with him! Hurrah.

Just had another driving lesson, am crap driver, but Mike Wandering Hands Majors said that he has booked me in for a test NEXT WEEK! Tried to get out of by claiming I was too busy concentrating on a) impending A-level exams b) impending failure of A-level exams and c) revising non stop to try to thwart impending failure of impending A-level exams. He said whatever and watch out for that pedestrian before performing a emergency stop, am good at emergency stops...

Have made strict revision routine, will stick to it religiously. Have first exam on Friday is drama so it should be easy.


Mr Vaughn says he is trying to avoid type casting. Am a tree. Said that in fact this is very much type casting given my bushy and unruly hair (now fully recovered after traumatic hover haircut accident). He told me to shut up as trees don't talk.

Have not done much revision yet due to current dog commotion in house. It stupidly swallowed one of James Lord of the Rings figurines and has been retching all day. Mum is letting it suffer and then she is going to make Dad take it to the vets when he gets home. James tried to convince me to steel the keys to the car and save dogs life by rushing it to the vet in a dramatic movie-like fashion. Was tempted as it would totally be like Nine Months but with a retching dog and in the flat streets of Saffron Walden. But said I could not as am a) revising and b) according to Mike Wandering Hands Majors my accelerator control is 'life threatening' and my steering is 'that of a drunken idiot'. James said a) watching (illegal) The Thick of It is not revision and b) and who said I should drive, it would be him dur! Shut door on him and went back to watching Chris Addison curse about the right wing opposition, is utterly educational!

Ohh, just googled STV. Is more democratic and proportional voting system, nothing to do with sex. Oops

Ahhh crap. Scarlet just reminded that study leave starts on Monday, and that I HAVE TO REVISE! But she also said that we can do Politics together as according to her am 'incapable, ignorant capitalist who does not know the meaning of STV' said I did, is an sexually transmitted infection and I learnt about it in dodgy sex ed lesson last year. She said point proven and hung up.