Unfortunately did not suffer any form of amnesia and was not smited before 9 o'clock this morning, so had to face a mortifying day at school! Here is how Saturday nights horrifying night spanned out:

7.00 Decided to go to Jacobs party, well Sad Ed dragged me along because he said Scarlet would just ignore him.

7.10 We arrived at Jacobs house, behind Battleditch Lane (aka dogshit alley) and was greeted by a topless Justin!

7.15 Me and Sad Ed found Scarlet doing vodka shots in the kitchen with Jacob, I joined in

7.32 Four (I think) shots later I was attempting to dance like Beyonce on the dining table, being cheered on my Jacob, Justin and Jack

7.34 Fell of table in a heap on the floor, picked up by previous cheering me

8.00 Put on Nirvana 'Smells like teen sprirt' on singstar and challenged Jacob to a sing off

8.01 Jacob somehow turned into Jack

8.04 Jack beats Rachel on singstar, Rachel runs into garden claiming she is the next Curt Cobain 

8.15 Scarlet brings me back inside and asks her what she thinks of Jacob, Rachel replies something along the lines of 'He'ss soooo hot! I love him, he'sss the besst' and passes out on arm chair

10.00 Rachel wakes up to find Justin placing bucket under her head

10.05 Rachel falls off chair and crawls toward the bathroom

10.08 Rachel opens door to find Jacob sitting on bog with Scarlet's tongue down his throat

10.09 Rachel Stares at unbelievable scene

10.10 Jack closes door on snogging Scarlet and Jacob and carries a now crying Rachel upstairs too the bathroom

10.12 Rachel does vodka influenced blue (?) sick

10.17 Jack brings Rachel water

10.20 Rachel cries and confesses feelings for Jacob to Jack, she bitches about Scarlet and cries some more

10.30 Jack walks a drunk and depressed Rachel home

10.40 Janet Riley shouts a Rachel and Jack, who almost runs away, Rachel does run away, but does more blue sick on tile flooring.

10.50 Rachel sent to bed with a glass of water, bucket and a bottle of Cillit Bang

Woke up yesterday morning, was shouted at more, grounded for a week and forced to stay in bedroom eating povvy cheese and crackers.

Then Mum forced me to go to bed today despite my pleading. So spent the whole day with Scarlet and Jacob flaunting their new found love, because they do not know how I feel, but Jack does and he kept asking me if I was ok and throwing me worried glances! 

Ohhh my life, am mortified! 

Oh god, oh no, what have I done?
Last night is so blurry, but can still remember too much!
Am going to sleep again, hopefully I won't wake up, or will suffer some form of short term amnesia....

Am not sure how I feel about the party tonight...

Oh no, Scarlet said the Kylies were implying he wants to do 'it'. No he doesn't (Scarlet did shout that down the phone, she got pretty het up about it really, and told me not to be so stupid)

Is ok it is obviously just a misunderstanding on his part, I don't want to do 'it' with him. Will tell him tomorrow night, gently.

Am not even 16 yet so I can't...I can't.

Need to stop panicking, stop thinking about it, will go and watch James and the dog do something stupid (I think he may be trying to teach the do to do a backward flip, it will never happen!) 

Told Thin and Fat Kylies what Jacob said about 'the parents being out' and they said 'He probably wants to do you one innit'

'do me one' what, what? Need to ask Scarlet for confirmation of what I think they may mean...

Eeee! Jacob has invited me and Scarlet to his birthday party next Saturday night! Then he said meaningfully to me, 'The parents are out, might as well take advantage of an empty house...' Hurrah, wonder what he means though?

Talked to Jacob today in Philosophy, Mr Knox (hairy librarian and newly form Philosophy and Ethics teacher) put us together to make a presentation. I think we really hit it off, he seemed enthusiastic about getting to know Scarlet (he obviously realises my friends are important to me) and he said he could not wait to do the presentation. I can't wait to present with him, am totally over Justin, plus Jacob is not too tall for me! Hurrah!

Have found my something new! There is a new boy in my Philosophy class, he's called Jacob, he plays cricket and sings in a band! Will try to get him to hang around with me Scarlet and Sad Ed. Hurrah!

My life is such a joke, I put on my jeans (unfashionable 'sensible' bootcuts) this morning to find that the dog had chewed the button off. So now I am walking around with a safety pin holding my jeans up, but it keeps stabing me in the stomach!

Scarlet says I can't be a Goth, I get too excited when Scrubs comes on TV! I thought that would be perfectly reasonable as a Goth as there is blood and sick, dying people? She said exactly her point, I'm too much of a conformer to stereotype. Said maybe I should rethink my choice of political party if I want to be non-conformist, so she made her lips go eerily thin like Mum does when I take lemonade into the living room!

So it's a new month, so I've decided it's a new me!

Unfortunately I can't think of what the new me has that is different, what could new me do? I can't do on a diet due to Mum's army like meal regime, can't get a new man as I don't have a man in the first place! Could try to get man, but the man I want does not seem to be interested in me (hence why I need to be new and different!)

Maybe I could turn Goth! Ooo that's a good idea, will ring Scarlet straight away!

I new me for a new month,. Yay! (but if I going Goth I can't be too happy about it)